Happy New Year!

Love.

The world over, people look for that one word. That feeling that they have wanted to have ever since they saw their first romantic comedy, or ever since they saw that passionate look their parents shared. It’s the feeling that unites humanity, but just as easily, breaks it. It is a common life goal to have and now success is defined by love as well. That flutter in your heart when you get a text, that feeling of assurance, that sense of familiarity when you read love stories, that sense of commonality when you look at posts about relationships. That smile, that strength. No matter who you are or where you’re from, you want it.

Movies are one of the biggest advocates of this quest for love. The way Jack gives up his life for Rose at the end of Titanic, or Harry finally comes and kisses Sally on New Year’s in When Harry Met Sally, makes finding love so glamorous, and so important. Because to be find love is to be happy and to be happy is to be in love.

But movies don’t really show another kind of love, a kind of love that is not given as much importance or fervor by people because it is taken for granted. Familial love. The love that your parents give you; your true support system, your friends and family isn’t as sensationalized. But in reality, that is what holds the most importance in a person’s life, and it is only if someone were to take this “guaranteed” thing away that people would understand.

I am lucky though, I’ve realized. I want to take this opportunity to explain the importance of my parents. It is only this year that I have truly matured enough to understand the value you have in my life. Whether it’s picking me up from parties, or always unfailingly trying to get me to smile, your effort has never been truly appreciated, until now. I believe the world is an easy place to live in, and deluded as I might sound, it’s because you have given me the strength to believe I can handle any obstacle that comes my way. I’ve always been a sort of realist, but I can’t wait for my own movie love, just because I know it can be real, seeing you two together. Thank you for the freedom you give me and the amount of trust you have in me. Thank you for standing behind me no matter what, teaching me what’s right but always defending me. Thank you for showering me with unconditional love, despite my unwarranted and constant annoyance. You’ve been the brother and sister I’ve never had, and you instil a deep sense of confidence in me that could never have been done by anyone or anything else. Thank you for letting me grow into who I want to be, and giving me the freedom to make my own choices, but yet keeping an eye on me, so that I would never feel completely alone.

This is going to be a very different year from the last 17.  Your little girl will officially be an adult and college beckons. I don’t know where life will take me and I don’t know what I will become. But one thing I do know; if 30 years later, I inspire my little girl and she respects and loves me half the amount I do you, I would count myself as a success. I promise, Mom and Dad, for these, and so many other countless reasons, I will never let you go. Happy New Year. 

New Year's Eve

On the first day of every year, billions of people around the world make promises to themselves and others. They have a long time to make them come true and no matter what, this year they will do it. By 7^th January, the promises are waning and by 15^th January, they are taking a backseat in mind space and 30^th January sees them as all but a distant memory.

2014 has been a year of traditions for me. So many firsts and so many lasts. Getting up in the morning and putting on that beige dress. Sitting in that rickety old bus and cribbing about it. Pretending to study with that book sitting in front of me, pretty much just gathering dust. Last sports day. Last competition. Last first day of school. Last day altogether. School has been home for as long as I can remember and leaving it gives me a tingling feeling, of excitement, fear or nostalgia, I don’t know. It seems like only yesterday when I was giving my class 10 exams, when I was laughing in the corridors with my friends, giggling about senior boys. Starting the first chapters in class 12, farewell, the concerts, the holidays, walking down the steps, looking for a McDonalds in Japan. Where did that time go?

I feel sometimes like I wasted it all away, promising myself I always had tomorrow, would do everything then. But now I realize that every time I made that promise, all I was doing was guaranteeing that I would just let precious time slip away. The world was moving on and I was just caught in the middle, as if in a time warp, trying to convince myself that the world would wait but it now in retrospect, that it dawns on me how deluded I’ve been.

These thoughts may be seem morbid but it’s just scary to think how fast this year has gone by.

2014 was a historic year in so many other ways than the things that happened in my tiny and inconsequential life. BJP won with a decided majority for the first time in 60 years. A man of Indian origin became the CEO of Microsoft. The biggest bachelor of Hollywood got married. Spain didn’t make it to the quarters in the World Cup. Two Malaysian Airlines flights faced grave misfortune. ISIS came to power. 134 children died in a planned attack on their school. These events seem so recent and yet so old.
I’ve reaped some opportunities, gone through self-exploratory experiences and realized whom I can count on. I’ve been downtrodden and I’ve been liberated, and I’ve tried to learn all I could through the experiences I went through. I have regrets and I wish I could some things differently but that’s what new year’s is for. It’s a reminder not to lose hope, to appreciate what you have and to remind you that no matter what, there is always a new start.  Lost time is gone, but there is still a new year to make the changes you want. This is going to be an interesting year for me. Some of the biggest changes in my life will take place in the next 365 days. The thought is daunting but somehow, I can’t wait.  College, independence, maturity; reality. New friends, a new life. 2015 could be a catalyst of change, or it couldn’t. Depends on what I make of it, I guess.

Through the Streets of Tokyo

26th November, 2014

Driving through the streets of Tokyo, the rain soaked city was an amalgamation of many pieces making one breathtaking puzzle. The beautiful and poignant trees shedding their leaves like a warning sign of the forthcoming winter. The chicly dressed women with their transparent umbrellas shielding them from the light drizzle. The sprawling parks, with the grass wet with fresh raindrops. The towering buildings that imbibed the architecture of empires past and modern architecture of the present. And there we were, a group of young Indian teenagers, brimming with excitement, eager to take in the whole city in one go, just like one does a piece of sushi.
We had just arrived the day before, and right out of the airport, the cold air had hit our face, giving us a shocking but pleasant welcome. We had underestimated the phrase "it will be cold in Tokyo" and it proved to be a foolish mistake as the freezing wind sent shivers down our backs. But god bless technology and god bless Japan for harnessing it because everything from the interiors of the bus to the seats of the toilets, was mercifully heated. Stopping at an Indian restaurant for lunch (why?!) on a high street in Tokyo, we ran towards the surrounding shops and lapped up the colors and lights like little children outside a candy store. We had come to a new country, an expensive one I might add, and no matter what, we were bent on enjoying every minute of it. From the first glance itself, it was clear to see that Tokyo, which was a myriad of colours and shapes, had a culture that was strongly imbibed by its people and environment. With just over a week left in Japan, I can confidently say, I can't wait to see more. 

Onsen

27th November, 2014

There are some experiences in life that are supposed to define you. Getting a college acceptance letter, surviving a car crash, moving across countries. And then there are those experiences that millions of people have, but they really mean something to only a few. A communal bath in Japan, or "onsen" is one such experience. The idea of the bath as I understand it, is to break the mental barriers that people have about their bodies. All across the world, body image issues exist across various age groups. As confident as one may seem, they are always conscious about their body. Onsen exists to abolish those ideas. For while bathing in this hot water spring, you must be completely in the nude. Not a scrap of clothing can be used to cover yourself and therefore you have to embrace your body as it is, without any inhibitions, all the while with others around.

In psychology, there is something called 'exposure therapy' which is when one must overcome their fears by facing them. Onsen stands as an embodiment of this therapy, beckoning people all over the world to come and overcome a deep fear that lies inside them all. For me personally, not only did I have this ubiquitous fear, but I also came from a culture where bathing in the nude, or even in basic underwear was frowned upon. But I had come to a new country and was eager to imbibe its culture and learn from it. Little did I know how much it would teach me. When I went into the onsen, I was a quivering girl whose mind was shrouded by insecurity about her body and the voice of Indian values asking her what the hell she was doing. Ten minutes later, I came out, a woman with more self confidence, and more importantly, a liberated mind that heard no voice but her own. 

The onsen had a deep impact on me, because as unwilling as I was to admit it, body image issues had plagued me for a long time. But the ideas of my misshapen legs, bloated stomach and heavy thighs somehow just disappeared like the swirls of steam rising from the hot spring. I realised, being with the other girls who had bodies just like mine, but who were somehow far less inhibited than I was, that nobody is indeed perfect. The idea of beauty and acceptance comes from inside and it was then that I finally understood what it was like to be truly free. In addition to this, one of the fears that had plagued me was that I wouldn't be able to look at someone I had seen naked the same way ever again. The thought of how awkward the next encounter would be almost served as a deterrent for me to not go and bathe in the communal bath. However, I went for the onsen with one of my closest friends, who I see everyday, and it was a shocking but empowering post-bath realisation that there was nothing weird between us and the whole experience just made us a lot closer.

It's funny to think that millions of Japanese people go through this experience up to four times a week on average, and doing it only once liberated my in such an unprecedented way. I remember hesitating and double thinking my decision to go and do the onsen and in retrospect, I couldn't be more thankful that I finally did.

The Founding Fathers of Liberal Thinking in Modern India

What is liberal thinking? A simple definition is having an open mind on different issues and being less inclined to biases, holding prejudices and following conservative and traditional practices and views.

Since the time of independence, and the start of the Modern or Contemporary Era, opinions, ideas, feelings and ways of life have begun to change. The catalysts people say, were the influx of ideas from the West. The British brought with them new perspectives, the idea of a modern society with modern norms that were not configured to old traditions and backward ideas where discrimination and prejudice were inherent. What people fail to see is that the British cannot be entirely credited with the introduction of “modern or liberal thinking” to our nation. Rammohan Roy, a social and religious reformer and philosophical thinker born in 1772 to a moderately prosperous Vaishnavi Hindu family in Bengal, fought against the policies of sati and child marriage in the early and mid nineteenth century, an age which was dominated by the Christian missionaries who were on a pursuit to convert people and the ever non-complying and uber fanatic Hindu priests, the two of whom never agreed on anything except that Rammohan Roy was coming in their way. When sati was legally abolished in 1829, the credit was given to Governor General William Bentinck, without so much as half a mention of Raja Rammohan Roy who had actually been indispensible in the fight against it. In his paper, Relations between Men and Women written in 1818, he has expressed his strong opinion of how women are not treated fairly and they are subjected to unfair stereotypes, stereotypes that they are not given a chance to change. He has posed a question to society asking it that even though women are not given a chance of getting an education, are called untrustworthy, are married at a young age, are sometimes treated badly due to polygamy and are charged with want of resolution, even then how can society tie them down and set them on fire? With sentiments and expressions like these that we now take for granted but were unheard of in those times, it is evident that liberal thinking began much before the start of the Modern Era.

Closely following the footsteps of the Hindu reformer came [Sir] Syed Ahmed Khan, a Muslim Modernist, social activist and philosopher who possibly influenced by the acclaimed Rammohan Roy, became the first modernizer of Indian Islam. Born in 1817 to a family of administrative officials in the time of Emperor Akbar, like the Hindu phisopher, Khan was also keen for an upgrade to “modern education” which included studying works of history, science, mathematics and political economy. Khan was bent upon introducing this new type of education to Muslim men and like Roy was very motivated towards his cause. Both men actually had an astonishing number of similarities, some of which include bringing about reforms for their desired causes (women and Muslims), being prolific at a number of languages which included Arabic, Persian and English, travelling to England at the same age (57) though it was years apart and wanting to adopt the “modern education system” which didn’t focus on the Sanskrit shlokas which Roy believed wasn’t useful in the daily life. Khan however wanted the “modern curriculum” for a different reason. He believed that had his countrymen known about the power of the British Empire, (which would be taught in the new system) they would not have tried to revolt against the latter and the “unfortunate events” of the revolt of 1857 could have been avoided.

Born in 1861 to a family of scholars, social reformers and entrepreneurs, Rabindranath Tagore is one of the country’s most famous names today. A lauded author, dramatist, poet, artist and musician he has reshaped Bengal’s literature and music. He is widely remembered as the first Asian winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature for “Gitanjali” which has been refined and edited by renowned Irish poet W.B Yeats. Tagore came from a rich and well cultured family. He was educated in England though he chose to drop out to continue self-education, he was the most widely travelled Indian of his time having been to all the seven continents except Antarctica and he was consequently encouraged to have a liberal ideology and not just follow old Indian norms. Like Syed Ahmed Khan, he too wanted to begin an institution, which he did in 1921 on family-owned land in Bengal. His curriculum again differed from that of Roy and Khan’s. Tagore’s institution- Viswa- Bharti, taught not only science and humanities but art and music as well, the latter of which had been given virtually no importance in Roy or Khan’s institutions. After having travelled the amount that he had, he had reached an understanding of India’s place in the world that was more profound than any others. Tagore was “a patriot without being a nationalist”. In the aftermath of the 1919 Jallianwala Bagh Massacre, he repudiated his knighthood saying that he didn’t want to accept such an honor from a nation that killed his countrymen. However he wasn’t a xenophobe like everyone around him seemed to be those days. Tagore’s ideal situation was to have a more civil and nuanced relationship between India and the British Empire.

Tagore also had a considerably direct connection to Rammohan Roy. His grandfather was a close associate of the latter and his family was one of the first to join Bramo Samaj, Roy’s monotheistic reformist movement. Tagore also mentions Roy in his essay ‘India and the West’, where he calls Roy “a great man of modern India who has not allowed any blind belief or ancestral habit to obscure his vision and he has accepted the West without betraying the East and he did not sell himself by holding out a beggar’s palms but assessed the true value of whatever he took.”

Liberal thinking is the reason that we have moved past our ancient rules and make new ones that are better suited to the time and age. The reason our existence is so much easier than that of our forefathers, is because of men like these. Rammohan Roy. Syed Ahmad Khan. Rabindranath Tagore. Though they had slight differences in their main goal of “modern education”, they are the reason women rights, illegality of child marriage, sati and discrimination based on caste or religion now exist. Our current education system is most comparable to Tagore’s institution, which shows the evolution of liberal ideas from the time of Roy to Khan to Tagore. All these men defied the social norms by putting forward their ideas, which at that point would have been greeted which a lot of scorn, anger and disagreement. Therefore this a testimony to their courage and their belief in doing what was right. As times change, we are exposed to newer and newer ideas and our way of thinking is becoming more liberal day by day. However this is an ode to the people who started it all: the founding fathers of liberal thinking in modern India.

Sources for this thesis: 'Makers of Modern India' by Ramachandra Guha

Stop, Take A Moment

The world is efficient; it’s constantly in motion,

At one end of the globe there is silence,

At the other there’s morning commotion.

A little emaciated girl sits on her momma’s lap

A stunted old man gives the car window a tap.

His eyes gleam of hunger,

Her body quakes with the cold,

But not even one glance is spared,

No one can afford to put their lives on hold.

The world boasts of being a global village,

One that never sleeps

But that insomnia is making people’s conscience

Drown slowly in the deep

Rape and corruption are becoming the words of the day

Yet all we can do is pray they go away.

The stock market dips a minuscule percent

The worlds of many have suddenly come to an end

But when Dad missed his little girl’s birthday,

And had to cook up a believable lie,

Not a single tear was shed from his eye.

The world revels in its constant connection,

Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have saved the day,

Interpersonal we strive to be, but in being

Intrapersonal these sites come in the way.

From the exterior we are a confident, tech savvy race,

But at home standing naked in front of the mirror,

It’s tough to look up at our own face.

Hiding behind the walls of work and other problems,

Dealing with ourselves proves to be

The biggest conundrum.

Ensconcing, however isn’t the solution.

Accepting ourselves will take us closer to the resolution.

Reevaluating our priorities,

Making happiness a measure of success.

Making sure the amount of work we do,

Doesn’t spill into excess.

Laugh, love and live,

Continue life without regrets,

Notice the small things around you,

Give yourself less reasons to fret.

Spare the little girl a smile

And the old man a glance,

It won’t take a minute I promise,

And yet it will fill joy in your heart.

For the extent of human connection

Is not restricted to networking sites,

We have a deeper humane bond,

That tie us together tight.

A smile that you give, will light up people’s world,

It is infectious, and you’ll see it,

It is tough to ignore.

A smile can convey a thousand words,

And each is a tiny reassurance,

That you matter in the world.

So stop, take a moment

And try to appreciate.

Deal with problems head on,

That’s how them you will alleviate.

Don’t just have virtual connections,

Work on making real ones.

That’s what’s going to make a difference,

A truly palpable and welcomed one.