Ode to 26/11

The screams of terror echoed not only in the vicinity of the Leopold Café, Taj Mahal Hotel and the nine other places that were bombed by the ruthless Islamist terrorists but in the hearts of their families, their city, their country and the world. Exactly four years ago, the hustle bustle of Bombay’s busy life was interrupted when the first gun was fired and the first person was shot. Thus began the start of the worst terrorist attack India had ever seen. Phone lines were jammed with worried and restless relatives and friends calling their kin to see if they were alright. Tears escaped the eyes of many as the news showed the every growing casualties hoping for the ones they knew and praying for the ones they didn’t. Anger seethed through the veins of the people who saw what they did on the television and knew they couldn’t do anything to stop it. Every time a bomb blasted, the cries of a million people were heard with it. Every time a gun was shot, a family lost a father, a mother a daughter or a son and in some cases all at the same time.

Vexation coursing through people’s blood, anyone they could put the blame on was hated. Anyone. Just someone who could explain why. Why this was happening to innocent lives and why they were being lost. The media criticized the politicians who criticized the police who went back to the media. A vicious cycle from where no answer was emerging. But it stopped, eventually.

The country had come to a standstill for those three days but now it was moving again. Yes, the hearts that had been broken, the families that had been torn apart and the city that had fallen to its knees, would take time to heal and stand again. But it would happen. And it did.

Even now, four years later, we have not forgotten. The scars remain, etched in our hearts forever. Every year, on this day we will remember you Bombay, for you are India’s shining symbol of pride that has risen from the ashes of the dark devastating monster that we call terrorism. 

Life of Pi- Movie Review

It is difficult to change a mind which has a block on it. Especially one that is as stubborn as mine. And when I left my house to see Life of Pi which I had just learnt we were to be watching in 3D, my mind block became even stronger. However, two hours and eighteen minutes later gone was the block, any negative feelings I had towards putting those dirty glasses on my bridge of  my nose and watching a movie about the path of spirituality and believing in God. They had vanished. They had been replaced by the vivid imagery of green phosphorescence lighting up the sae, a whale leaping out of that glowing paradise, a horde of meerkats twittering away on the screen and an elegant Royal Bengal Tiger stealing the show away.

From the second it started to the minute the credits started to roll, I was held by the spell the movie cast. Mind-blown would probably describe the situation best. A simple story, told in the form of narration through an older version of the main character to a young writer, it describes the journey of an adolescent boy cast away at sea who is the sole survivor of a shipwreck that kills the rest of his family and their zoo animals and leaves him on a wooden life boat with a ferocious tiger for company.

The movie tackles different themes of human emotions, the growing relationship between a beast and a man, the broken faith of man in God, and the strength and mindfulness exhibited by the human race in times of trouble.

However the most defining trait of this movie is the level of special effects that have been used. With every scene given the utmost importance with not a pixel out of place, Life of Pi is only comparable to James Cameron’s Avatar, a worldwide box office hit that defined the start of a new era of impeccably evolved CGI. From the sinking of the freighter, to the clouds thundering above and waves lashing against the sides of the boat, there is nothing that makes you realize at any given point of time that you are not a part of the movie. You are meant to be there, experiencing the pain of loss with Pi, the anger with Richard Parker, the name of the tiger (given due to a clerical error) and the disbelief with the writer.

Based on the book written by Yann Martel of the same name, something that everyone thought was impossible to convert into a movie, not only has Life of Pi done justice to it, but it has surpassed every expectation anyone could ever have possessed. It can be described as nothing less than magic. Magic has the power to make people believe in the impossible and Life of Pi made me believe.

Hats off to you Ang Lee, you really have outdone yourself. 

Can Money Buy Happiness?

Note: This article is only looking at a small aspect of this widely debated topic and the exclusive point of view that it has been written in has been done on purpose, to keep it from eventually turning into a novel.

What is a country? It is the people of a nation. Who are its people? They are the rich and poor, dark and fair, smart and foolish, happy and sad individuals that inhabit the nation. The country defines the people and the people define the country. When we look at the development of any country, we look at the development of its people. And when we measure that development, we measure it based on one main universal aspect. Its income. The income is a tell all. How much the firms are paying their employees, how much the latter are spending, what are the standards of their living and all related questions. The income is the money. Having more money and being able to afford things leads to living in a virtuous cycle, while being financially unstable is an easy way to spiral downwards and end up being caught in a debt trap and thus, in a vicious cycle. It’s basic economics. More money = Happiness. Less money = Sadness.

The phrase “can money buy happiness” is one that we are all familiar with. The humanitarians of the world believe that this is not true. For them the love, freedom and equality possessed by people is what is most important. However, if we look at it from a different point of view where the use of money has brought an everlasting smile on the faces of people, we’ll find a lot of evidence pointing to the contrary.

Good Charlotte’s song; Girls and Boys, is a pure reflection of the way “love” works in the 21^st century. ‘Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money’ just says it all. Rather than at the old knight in shining armour who used their charm rather than wallets, girls’ eyes now glitter at the sight of the pretty presents that adorn their rooms on their birthdays.

How many times have we heard that people who have committed crimes have been let off because of possessing the ability to pay off an extravagant bail? How many times have politicians risen to the top because they are rich? However, these are just the negative aspects. Donations and funds raised to help countries overcome famines and natural disasters are done with money. Credit given to farmers to help them increase their agricultural input is done with money. The reason everyone reading this is living in a house with running water, electricity, a maid and cars is because they have money. Money is the source of a lot of power and one of those powers is undeniably the power to make people smile.

A wise man once said, “If I had to be sad, I’d rather be sad in a Ferrari than be sad in a Nano.”

When I Grew Up

Many a times during different points in your life, people ask you about the one incident after the occurrence of which, you realized that you’d grown up. The mind works furiously as you try to think of that one incident, finally coming to stop between going on the metro alone or picking your class 11 subjects without any help and for less independent minds, reading Yann Martel’s ‘Life of Pi’ and understanding it.

My take on that question is a little different. The way I was brought up was different from most other people in my class. Freedom was given, not earned. There were definitive boundaries but I was still freer than most others. So “the first time I got freedom” is not my incident.

Others may say that that they grew up after their first real relationship. I have had that, but the change I felt after it was over wasn’t the feeling of growing up.

There are so many times in life when people say that they promised to do something (or stop doing it) and they change. They grow up. This, I can agree with. Because I had tried promising myself a countless number of things, commitments I would honour, promises I would keep and changes I would make. However all this heartfelt proclamations would disappear from sight and mind just a week after they were made. But then one day, I realized that I messed up. I realized that if I did not fix that mess not tomorrow, but right now, I would forever be stuck in the same cycle, of there being a next time. Next time I mess up, next time I break a promise, next time I don’t honour a commitment. And at that point, when I decided to leave “next time” behind forever, that was the point where I grew up.

Rejection

A tear escaped my eyelid as I read the first line of the letter. It was a gateway for a torrent of escapees until it felt like there was nothing left. A sense of failure settled into the deepest niches of my mind and I cried, emitting no sound but feeling the pain driving deep into my heart. Regret, anger, sadness, disappointment, terror and pure self-hatred coursed through my veins and clouded my thoughts. It was regret at not listening to my parents and wasting my time. It was anger at the misleading thought I’d always had; that it would all work out in the end. Sadness, that I had let my parents and everyone else who believed in me down. Disappointment in myself, the lack of effort I had put and the sheer amount of talent that I had let go to waste. Terror at the thought that I had no where to go while my friends had started building the blocks to a successful and perfect life. Self hatred, because I could’ve had the same thing but I didn't have that choice anymore.

I remembered the days where I would postpone everything from an hour to a day to a week. Time flew. Assignments were given in on the last day and though I put in effort, I didn't do my best. When I could’ve been exceptional, I was merely mediocre. I remembered class 10 so well, when I thought that doing well in English was the only thing required do become successful in the fields I aspired to be in. I attributed my bad grades to math and Sanskrit. “I’m not taking those subjects next year. And they suck. It’s really difficult to do well in a language I don’t understand and math is something I just can’t do.” No questions asked. People warned me to change, to take control of my life before it was too late. I listened to them and my heart agreed but my mind remained adamant and after trying to make a difference for a few days I sidled back into my laid back lifestyle. One of my key personality traits were strong headedness; unless I internally decided on something, no external factor could actually induce any change. This did not work in my favor here.

I tried to make a difference in class 11 and 12. Looking at my 80 percentile in the board results, I realized that this wasn't enough. My attitude had come in the way of my success. My dreams lay shattered before me, my parents hard earned money lay waiting, not worth it and my existence on this planet seemed frivolous. I had never felt so worthless in my life. So helpless and tiny. It seemed like the entire world was growing around me and I sat in my deprecated state, growing steadily smaller. What probably made it worse was that this whole thing was my fault. There was no one who could help me, even out of pity because there was no way out. I had had everything at my disposal. There was no scope for the blame to be put on anything or one other than myself. They had warned me about this. But I had never really believed them. It wasn’t possible I had thought. I had time. I would change. I would prove them wrong. I would smile and feel liberated when I opened those acceptance letters. I would party and rejoice with my friends as we compared the ranks of colleges we had gotten into. I would be proud of myself as I saw the happiness in my parents’ eyes as they realized that their life’s work had been worth it. I would hold my head high.

How naïve I was…

My eye few open before my mind could complete that thought. It all felt so real. The emotions, the feelings, the ideas. I sat breathing deeply for a couple of minutes before turning my head on my pillow and staring into space.

Cockiness

“I was probably being a little cocky, which I do when I feel that I don't know what I'm talking about.”

-         -  Daniel Okrent

It is often that a child in school gets reprimanded by a teacher for answering back or acting too ‘cocky’.  However, it is not only teachers that the juniors (ages 7 to 12) are cocky to; it is their seniors as well. It is apparent by the conversations had with them that our juniors have slowly from the age of five onwards, built a little bubble around themselves inside which they are superior to all around them. They do this by acting cocky, resulting in angering people; which then pushes me to write an article about it. Psychologists attribute children’s cockiness to the environment in which they have grown up and trials it offers. We however perceive it as them having an attitude problem or something along the lines of that. The answer could be the former, the latter, or both. The quote given above is yet another way to assess the situation. It’s paraphrased to mean that a person is cocky due to the fact that he doesn’t actually know what he’s talking about, and hence to avoid embarrassment , he puts up an image of being too above the conversation or too smart for it. This could be termed as apt reasoning for a person being cocky because when he starts off a conversation on a smart note and then steadily progresses on a direct decline to the lower levels of stupidity, he is bound to try and save himself from acute embarrassment, thus using cockiness to help him break the fall.

Now that it’s all said and done and the reasons for our junior’s cocky given, I must say I do feel a lot more at peace. They say that reading something someone else has written answer your questions but it has dawned upon me that sometimes the answers actually lie within. All you have to do is write them down.

Teachings of the Mountains

Where every step you take kills you a little more inside and your mind and heart are both begging you stop and sit down, it’s a situation like no other. Where the weight of the clothes you are wearing becomes heavier by the second, it takes everything you've got just to look up. Where your destination seems so close yet so far away. Where weeks and months of practice and hard work do not pay off when you need them to. Where the world seems quiet and subdued with no life around, and you still know that environment is taking you for all you've got.

Where talking to illiterate porters makes you realize that it is not them that are actually uneducated, but you. Where every second you feel like giving up, you realize that that is exactly what is expected and you plough ahead trying to test how far you will go before you give up. Where it’s the weather is horrible and it is freezing and so your tempers run high but where when the family sits together in the tent it creates warmth and makes the bare landscape outside and troubles forgotten for a while. Where the true power of friendship is found, watching the porters sitting together, laughing around a small fire trying to shield each other from the freezing winds blowing around with snowflakes swirling about. Where the power of free will and family is shown when a guide decides to become a free lancer so that he doesn't have to stay away from his family longer than required and against his will. Where the power of money is learnt when a porter talks about how he started training for his job as a child and has been pursuing the same thing for 12 years just so he can get a menial amount of money to keep his family afloat, despite his dire fear of heights.

It’s teachings are not only limited to the major aspects of life, but also extend to the seemingly unimportant things, like mere thoughts. It dawns upon you; being in that environment, when you are trying to write down every tiny thought racing across your tired mind on a sheet of paper with frozen fingers because of the sub-zero temperature outside and a minuscule electric light swaying above your head attached to the interior wall of the tent, in the hope of catching something brilliant before it slips away into the dreary corners of our busy minds. It is a place where patience and endurance are tested to their limits and a place where upon entrance we have to learn to hone the skills of our mental strength rather than our physical one.

The mountains teach us innumerable things, all in one place and in a short period of time. They have the power to change a person, just sitting there towering above him, is enough for someone to question the reason of his mere existence over there, at that point of time. But the most powerful virtue the mountains possess, is their ability to command respect out of even the most narcissistic and overconfident of people. Yet for those who show their humility and love for them, the mountains nurture and care, changing each person they lay their soft touch on.

I ended my expedition with the words “I’m never going back there again.” But, it took me less than 24 hours, to come home and before crashing on my beloved bed think, as John Muir impeccably says, “The mountains are calling me, and I must go."

The Old Man and the Child

He asks, " Describe yourself." She answers, "I'm strong." He asks, "Why?" This is what she says :

"I have an opinion about everything. I do not always voice it but it is there. My mind knows what is right and what is wrong. It may not always agree with what is socially accepted, but none the less it knows. It is rigid and unmoving and the small things that taunt everybody else just hit its hard shell and rebound. It doesn't flutter around the place like my heart. It is those opinions that make me strong. I have straight cut ideas about  things. No ifs and buts. However, I have always believed that there is a strong connection  between the mind and the heart. Even though both are very different things, I like to believe for the sake of simplicity that there is one string that connects the two. The mind is like a grandfather. It has lived its life and it knows what is right and what is wrong. It is prudent and it has a motive behind everything it does. The mind doesn't wander around, it doesn't play games and thus it guides my life. The heart is like a young child, carefree and innocent. It makes decisions without thinking about the consequences. It laughs and smiles and makes people fall in love with it. This is it's strongest asset, for even an old man who has faced hardships in life will fall for the charm of a child. This is when the heart wins. And this is when we make decisions without thinking or without looking; this is when we become children again."

Judgement flits across his face. Just before he makes his final decision, he changes his mind. He seems intrigued. He wants to know more before he decides. He asks "Do you never listen to your heart?"

She smiles. "Sometimes I am tired of being strong. Or sometimes I just want to be rebellious. Sometimes I just let go. Then I just close the eyes of my mind, tell the old man to hold the hand of the child and let it take him wherever it wants to go. This is when I listen to my heart."

He asks, "Why don't you do this all the time?"

"Because the heart is too uncertain. Too busy in it's own world it might forget it's guiding an old man. What if the old man trips and falls? What if it gets hurt? Then what if I get hurt? What happens then?"

He asks, "Are you scared?"

She replies, "I am."

A stony expression appears on his face. "Then how do you call yourself strong?"

She looks him straight in the eye and says "Because I can suppress that fear. I don't let it control me. I don't put myself in a position where I do not know what to do because I don't know where I am. I don't like being vulnerable. And I am not easy to influence. 

I don't regret a lot of decisions I have made in my life, so I'm going right somewhere, aren't I?"

Embrace of the Night

I gaze at the stars high above,
The cool breeze blows softly,
The noises recede into oblivion,
The water rushes over the rocks,
I close my eyes and sink into the sand,
As the night embraces me silently.

The ground is coarse and hard,
She wears nothing but rags,
She has had a tiring day,
But sleep does not come.
The world quietly slows down,
As the night embraces her silently.

The flame of the fire barely visible,
He wraps the coat tightly around himself.
The snow falls gently but continously outside.
Though the cold is steadly increasing,
A feeling of contentment settles upon him,
As the night embraces him silently.

The soft feather mattress enveloping him,
The low volume of the 42" TV acts as a lullaby.
The empty scotch glass is on the table,
Next to the picture of his estranged daughter.
The stillness of lonliness settles on him,
As the night embraces him silently.

The next day dawns, the night slips away,
As we leave to fulfil our duties,
With minimal idea of each other's existence.
From different walks of life,
We share a small bond;
The night embraces us all.

Temptation

It is a girl wanting a boy she can't have
It is a mother wanting to sleep while her child whines,
It is wanting to give up when you think it's the end,
It is desire that propels the first signs.

We try at first, it goes to waste,
Slowly the inconspicous feeling grows,
It claws away, edging past our conscience,
And becomes one of our deadliest foes.

Distracting and attention seeking,
We don't realize when it overpowers us,
Thoughts cease to prelude actions,
As we experience feelings of mad lust.

Desire then escalates into need,
Until the time comes when we can't hold back,
Giving in is the only option left,
That is when will power begins to slack.

Finally we are satisfied, but,
Easily ignored are the complications,
And the consequences that arise
With giving in to our temptation.

The Lost Spring

The growth of young saplings,
They emerge from the ground,
It is their time to shine.
The birth of a new being,
It emerges from the womb,
Bringing tears of joy at it's first whine.

They wait for the sun,
Dark, dead months of cold weather are gone,
The sun is supposed to shine, it has to propel their growth.
But this year around it's broken its unforgivable oath.

They were waiting, he would be their first,
A man they would raise, proud parents they would be,
But it was a girl, a beautiful child,
Cast away she was, an infant, in her sleep.

The saplings stay underground,
It's cold and upsetting,
The monotony of loneliness and fading hope sets in,
They wonder quietly what they could've done wrong.

Their thoughts are reflected by the girl on the streets,
Confused and lost, she's just a child can't they see?
She has no where to go and no one to meet,
Terrified, she just goes and falls at God's feet.

Buried deep underground,
The plants are just giving up,
When they hear His voice, loud and clear,
Forbidding them from succumbing to fear.

The girl, she stumbles out and sees,
A little shoot barely poking out,
Reaching for the stars it seems,
Strained with figmental effort it teems.

Tears come streaming down her face,
As she realizes she's part of something big,
She feels wanted and belonged to the core,
Something she's never felt before.

She steadies herself and crouches down,
The shoot is barely visible,
But to her it is a crucial sign of hope,
To overcome her helplessness it gives her scope.

Twenty years she promises hence,
When she's made it through the perils of life,
When she's watching her own daughter on a swing,
She's going to laugh about this lost spring.

44

Life presents us all with obstacles. Mine was given to me in the form of my dad. A well read, well versed person, my father is a no nonsense yet caring guy. Every human has two sides to them. My dad is the best example.Where most fathers give their children money to order something for lunch when their friends come over, my dad stands in the heat of the kitchen and makes pasta. Yet, where most fathers are the laid back ones that give in to their kid's wants and needs after two days of nagging, mine stays firm until he sees a reason to give in. Where most fathers console their daughters after a break up by handing the responsibility over to the mother, mine sits and makes fun of the ex with me. Where most fathers choose to go sit by the poolside or pub in some foreign country with their friends, mine chooses a mountain and decides the best possible way to make a family holiday out of climbing it. In a world where genuinely caring men are hard to find, my father is an exception.
When I was young, I remember referring to my father as my role model. He was everything I wanted to be and I revered him. On your birthday dad, I want to remind you that that little girl who thought you were the most amazing person in the world still lives somewhere nestled deep inside.
I want to to attribute my being such a strong person and individual to my father. Thank you for pushing me, steering me back on track when I was going off and praising me when you thought I deserved it.
Disagree as we do, on some things, my mother is right; my father and I are very alike. Both stubborn, defiant yet loving and thoughtful.
To the biggest Mark Knopfler fan I know,
Happy 44th Birthday Dad,
I love you.

Current Affairs

The clock ticks on,
People go rushing past,
They come and they go,
They make no impressions that last.

They're living life in the fast lane,
And it's taking its toll,
Relationships are short,
And like a lost poker game,
On things it's easy to fold.

Work is now more important than love,
What on earth has our world become?
Social networking is the sole way to communicate,
Is there no way to avoid our inevitable fate?

Trust has no meaning and cheating isn't a crime,
Wasted extensively is our precious time.
Standing lost and alone even in a crowded room,
Our unhappy ending continues to loom.

Creativity and passion is lost in a void,
Of compassion and humility, mankind is devoid.
About the past and goodness we reminisce,
It gives us hopes that history always repeats itself.

Confusion

It creeps up slowly,
It has no shape,
From the back of my mind,
My forehead it drapes.

Edging down my cheek,
Past those soft lips,
Clamping my throat,
It has a deadly grip.

Into the heart it sidles,
It's inconspicuous at first,
Then the pain kick starts,
And the heart threatens to burst.

It's temptation and longing,
It's happiness and a smile
It's tears and anxiety,
It's emotions that are piled.

To figure it out, I try,
But it's a big ball of threads
A constricted feeling, now
My body feels like lead.

Mood swings and anger
Occur so ridiculously fast,
They render an outsider speechless
How I wish to put this in my past.

I wonder if it would've been better another way,
If I'd made a different decision,
Would this not be happening?
Would I have handled this with precision?

Situations and parallel worlds
Flood my mind like a waterfall,
Judgements change by the hour,
And I realize this is not me at all.

The person I was,
Became the person I am,
This occurrence of change,
Causes internal bedlam.

I try to calm my furious mind down,
I give up dejectedly with a sigh
And I wait expectantly for the time,
When I can bid this confusion goodbye.

Road to Success

There are times in your life when you wake up in the morning at ten, two hours after you're actually supposed to, and even after wasting those two precious hours of your life, you have nothing to do. There are times when you know you have over twenty textbooks to finish mugging up before your final exams due in a month and you still just feel like sitting in bed and staring at the ceiling. There are times when you lose touch with people who you used to talk to everyday. At times like these, a TV show saves your life. It pushes away your problems into a tiny compartment in your brain and lets you laugh at the latest exploits of Max and Caroline as they try to make enough money to start their cupcake business. Pushing our problems away and convincing ourself not to solve them in the present is a habit that a majority of the world has. Because, in the end of the day we have convinced ourselves that everything will be okay. No matter what happens, when we wake up the next morning, it'll be a new day, and with the change in that twenty four hour clock sitting on our bedside table, comes our opportunity to transform ourselves into who we want to be. However, the same thing happens everyday. We wake up with our minds full of ambition and focus. We promise ourselves that today is the day that we'll live our dreams. Or, today is the day we're going to turn our lives around. We think big and plan our next couple of weeks. But then its time to put our thoughts, hopes and dreams into actions. That's where everyone screws up. (This is the point where this article starts to get a little personalized, so feel free to skip ahead to where it becomes general point of view again.) For some people, the reason for the screw up is because they aren't willing to see if the outcome is good or not. For them the ultimatum is fear. For some other people, they aren't sure how others will perceive their dreams. They're scared that they will be mocked and laughed at. This ultimately lowers their self confidence so much that they throw away the goal completely. For this section of society, the reason is insecurity. After these seemingly valid reasons, there is the reason for people like me. For us, its just laziness. True, there might exist a tiny atom of either or both of the reasons given above somewhere, but the main reason is the psychological mind block that we harbour. It is the minds of these kind of people that are infested with the concept of "It's all going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end". The mind block is present between the undesirable present and the perfect future. The yellow brick road that connects the two, hasn't been made yet. Because that's where hard work comes in. Even literally speaking, we have all seen the construction of a road. Even for something so simple yet important, so many things need to be done. The approval from the Department of Travel, the plan, the materials and the construction in the hands of the labourers hired. Now compare this in a form of a metaphor to your dream. Turn constructing a road into constructing a goal. The things required are remarkably similar. The approval of your conscience about whether its worth it or not, is the the approval required, and the plan is your method of how to go about doing things. Your portfolio and your assets put together to help you achieve the goal, are your materials. In the end comes the most important: the implementation. And just like how if the labourers do not use the right cement or mess up the length and route of the road, it can be a disaster, same way the people you let influence you, are important and have to be entirely trustworthy and responsible.
In the end of the day, we have to construct our roads. Otherwise we can not move forward. We'll be stuck in the same decrepit, lazy and infeasible state for ever. Taking control of our lives is the only way out. It all just comes down to hard work. That two worded phrase is what's going to change our 'before we sleep thought' from what are we going to do tomorrow, to what we did today. And it is that moment of pride that we feel when we achieve something that we are internally proud of, that focuses us enough to be propelled to the next step. Just remember, never give up, because:
"Failure is not the opposite of success, it is a part of it." - Anonymous