New Year's Eve

On the first day of every year, billions of people around the world make promises to themselves and others. They have a long time to make them come true and no matter what, this year they will do it. By 7^th January, the promises are waning and by 15^th January, they are taking a backseat in mind space and 30^th January sees them as all but a distant memory.

2014 has been a year of traditions for me. So many firsts and so many lasts. Getting up in the morning and putting on that beige dress. Sitting in that rickety old bus and cribbing about it. Pretending to study with that book sitting in front of me, pretty much just gathering dust. Last sports day. Last competition. Last first day of school. Last day altogether. School has been home for as long as I can remember and leaving it gives me a tingling feeling, of excitement, fear or nostalgia, I don’t know. It seems like only yesterday when I was giving my class 10 exams, when I was laughing in the corridors with my friends, giggling about senior boys. Starting the first chapters in class 12, farewell, the concerts, the holidays, walking down the steps, looking for a McDonalds in Japan. Where did that time go?

I feel sometimes like I wasted it all away, promising myself I always had tomorrow, would do everything then. But now I realize that every time I made that promise, all I was doing was guaranteeing that I would just let precious time slip away. The world was moving on and I was just caught in the middle, as if in a time warp, trying to convince myself that the world would wait but it now in retrospect, that it dawns on me how deluded I’ve been.

These thoughts may be seem morbid but it’s just scary to think how fast this year has gone by.

2014 was a historic year in so many other ways than the things that happened in my tiny and inconsequential life. BJP won with a decided majority for the first time in 60 years. A man of Indian origin became the CEO of Microsoft. The biggest bachelor of Hollywood got married. Spain didn’t make it to the quarters in the World Cup. Two Malaysian Airlines flights faced grave misfortune. ISIS came to power. 134 children died in a planned attack on their school. These events seem so recent and yet so old.
I’ve reaped some opportunities, gone through self-exploratory experiences and realized whom I can count on. I’ve been downtrodden and I’ve been liberated, and I’ve tried to learn all I could through the experiences I went through. I have regrets and I wish I could some things differently but that’s what new year’s is for. It’s a reminder not to lose hope, to appreciate what you have and to remind you that no matter what, there is always a new start.  Lost time is gone, but there is still a new year to make the changes you want. This is going to be an interesting year for me. Some of the biggest changes in my life will take place in the next 365 days. The thought is daunting but somehow, I can’t wait.  College, independence, maturity; reality. New friends, a new life. 2015 could be a catalyst of change, or it couldn’t. Depends on what I make of it, I guess.