Happy New Year!

Love.

The world over, people look for that one word. That feeling that they have wanted to have ever since they saw their first romantic comedy, or ever since they saw that passionate look their parents shared. It’s the feeling that unites humanity, but just as easily, breaks it. It is a common life goal to have and now success is defined by love as well. That flutter in your heart when you get a text, that feeling of assurance, that sense of familiarity when you read love stories, that sense of commonality when you look at posts about relationships. That smile, that strength. No matter who you are or where you’re from, you want it.

Movies are one of the biggest advocates of this quest for love. The way Jack gives up his life for Rose at the end of Titanic, or Harry finally comes and kisses Sally on New Year’s in When Harry Met Sally, makes finding love so glamorous, and so important. Because to be find love is to be happy and to be happy is to be in love.

But movies don’t really show another kind of love, a kind of love that is not given as much importance or fervor by people because it is taken for granted. Familial love. The love that your parents give you; your true support system, your friends and family isn’t as sensationalized. But in reality, that is what holds the most importance in a person’s life, and it is only if someone were to take this “guaranteed” thing away that people would understand.

I am lucky though, I’ve realized. I want to take this opportunity to explain the importance of my parents. It is only this year that I have truly matured enough to understand the value you have in my life. Whether it’s picking me up from parties, or always unfailingly trying to get me to smile, your effort has never been truly appreciated, until now. I believe the world is an easy place to live in, and deluded as I might sound, it’s because you have given me the strength to believe I can handle any obstacle that comes my way. I’ve always been a sort of realist, but I can’t wait for my own movie love, just because I know it can be real, seeing you two together. Thank you for the freedom you give me and the amount of trust you have in me. Thank you for standing behind me no matter what, teaching me what’s right but always defending me. Thank you for showering me with unconditional love, despite my unwarranted and constant annoyance. You’ve been the brother and sister I’ve never had, and you instil a deep sense of confidence in me that could never have been done by anyone or anything else. Thank you for letting me grow into who I want to be, and giving me the freedom to make my own choices, but yet keeping an eye on me, so that I would never feel completely alone.

This is going to be a very different year from the last 17.  Your little girl will officially be an adult and college beckons. I don’t know where life will take me and I don’t know what I will become. But one thing I do know; if 30 years later, I inspire my little girl and she respects and loves me half the amount I do you, I would count myself as a success. I promise, Mom and Dad, for these, and so many other countless reasons, I will never let you go. Happy New Year. 

New Year's Eve

On the first day of every year, billions of people around the world make promises to themselves and others. They have a long time to make them come true and no matter what, this year they will do it. By 7^th January, the promises are waning and by 15^th January, they are taking a backseat in mind space and 30^th January sees them as all but a distant memory.

2014 has been a year of traditions for me. So many firsts and so many lasts. Getting up in the morning and putting on that beige dress. Sitting in that rickety old bus and cribbing about it. Pretending to study with that book sitting in front of me, pretty much just gathering dust. Last sports day. Last competition. Last first day of school. Last day altogether. School has been home for as long as I can remember and leaving it gives me a tingling feeling, of excitement, fear or nostalgia, I don’t know. It seems like only yesterday when I was giving my class 10 exams, when I was laughing in the corridors with my friends, giggling about senior boys. Starting the first chapters in class 12, farewell, the concerts, the holidays, walking down the steps, looking for a McDonalds in Japan. Where did that time go?

I feel sometimes like I wasted it all away, promising myself I always had tomorrow, would do everything then. But now I realize that every time I made that promise, all I was doing was guaranteeing that I would just let precious time slip away. The world was moving on and I was just caught in the middle, as if in a time warp, trying to convince myself that the world would wait but it now in retrospect, that it dawns on me how deluded I’ve been.

These thoughts may be seem morbid but it’s just scary to think how fast this year has gone by.

2014 was a historic year in so many other ways than the things that happened in my tiny and inconsequential life. BJP won with a decided majority for the first time in 60 years. A man of Indian origin became the CEO of Microsoft. The biggest bachelor of Hollywood got married. Spain didn’t make it to the quarters in the World Cup. Two Malaysian Airlines flights faced grave misfortune. ISIS came to power. 134 children died in a planned attack on their school. These events seem so recent and yet so old.
I’ve reaped some opportunities, gone through self-exploratory experiences and realized whom I can count on. I’ve been downtrodden and I’ve been liberated, and I’ve tried to learn all I could through the experiences I went through. I have regrets and I wish I could some things differently but that’s what new year’s is for. It’s a reminder not to lose hope, to appreciate what you have and to remind you that no matter what, there is always a new start.  Lost time is gone, but there is still a new year to make the changes you want. This is going to be an interesting year for me. Some of the biggest changes in my life will take place in the next 365 days. The thought is daunting but somehow, I can’t wait.  College, independence, maturity; reality. New friends, a new life. 2015 could be a catalyst of change, or it couldn’t. Depends on what I make of it, I guess.

Through the Streets of Tokyo

26th November, 2014

Driving through the streets of Tokyo, the rain soaked city was an amalgamation of many pieces making one breathtaking puzzle. The beautiful and poignant trees shedding their leaves like a warning sign of the forthcoming winter. The chicly dressed women with their transparent umbrellas shielding them from the light drizzle. The sprawling parks, with the grass wet with fresh raindrops. The towering buildings that imbibed the architecture of empires past and modern architecture of the present. And there we were, a group of young Indian teenagers, brimming with excitement, eager to take in the whole city in one go, just like one does a piece of sushi.
We had just arrived the day before, and right out of the airport, the cold air had hit our face, giving us a shocking but pleasant welcome. We had underestimated the phrase "it will be cold in Tokyo" and it proved to be a foolish mistake as the freezing wind sent shivers down our backs. But god bless technology and god bless Japan for harnessing it because everything from the interiors of the bus to the seats of the toilets, was mercifully heated. Stopping at an Indian restaurant for lunch (why?!) on a high street in Tokyo, we ran towards the surrounding shops and lapped up the colors and lights like little children outside a candy store. We had come to a new country, an expensive one I might add, and no matter what, we were bent on enjoying every minute of it. From the first glance itself, it was clear to see that Tokyo, which was a myriad of colours and shapes, had a culture that was strongly imbibed by its people and environment. With just over a week left in Japan, I can confidently say, I can't wait to see more. 

Onsen

27th November, 2014

There are some experiences in life that are supposed to define you. Getting a college acceptance letter, surviving a car crash, moving across countries. And then there are those experiences that millions of people have, but they really mean something to only a few. A communal bath in Japan, or "onsen" is one such experience. The idea of the bath as I understand it, is to break the mental barriers that people have about their bodies. All across the world, body image issues exist across various age groups. As confident as one may seem, they are always conscious about their body. Onsen exists to abolish those ideas. For while bathing in this hot water spring, you must be completely in the nude. Not a scrap of clothing can be used to cover yourself and therefore you have to embrace your body as it is, without any inhibitions, all the while with others around.

In psychology, there is something called 'exposure therapy' which is when one must overcome their fears by facing them. Onsen stands as an embodiment of this therapy, beckoning people all over the world to come and overcome a deep fear that lies inside them all. For me personally, not only did I have this ubiquitous fear, but I also came from a culture where bathing in the nude, or even in basic underwear was frowned upon. But I had come to a new country and was eager to imbibe its culture and learn from it. Little did I know how much it would teach me. When I went into the onsen, I was a quivering girl whose mind was shrouded by insecurity about her body and the voice of Indian values asking her what the hell she was doing. Ten minutes later, I came out, a woman with more self confidence, and more importantly, a liberated mind that heard no voice but her own. 

The onsen had a deep impact on me, because as unwilling as I was to admit it, body image issues had plagued me for a long time. But the ideas of my misshapen legs, bloated stomach and heavy thighs somehow just disappeared like the swirls of steam rising from the hot spring. I realised, being with the other girls who had bodies just like mine, but who were somehow far less inhibited than I was, that nobody is indeed perfect. The idea of beauty and acceptance comes from inside and it was then that I finally understood what it was like to be truly free. In addition to this, one of the fears that had plagued me was that I wouldn't be able to look at someone I had seen naked the same way ever again. The thought of how awkward the next encounter would be almost served as a deterrent for me to not go and bathe in the communal bath. However, I went for the onsen with one of my closest friends, who I see everyday, and it was a shocking but empowering post-bath realisation that there was nothing weird between us and the whole experience just made us a lot closer.

It's funny to think that millions of Japanese people go through this experience up to four times a week on average, and doing it only once liberated my in such an unprecedented way. I remember hesitating and double thinking my decision to go and do the onsen and in retrospect, I couldn't be more thankful that I finally did.